Photo by Jan Kopřiva
A few weeks ago I was listening to an episode Ten Percent Happier podcast by Dan Harris where he was interviewing the Dalai Lama. Despite receiving a lot of criticism for keeping the conversation at a high level, the Dalai Lama, when asked about the key to happiness in life, provided a riveting answer and explanation that resonated with me to my core. The answer was what the Buddhist have termed as wise selfishness, i.e. altruism for the sake of obtaining one’s’ own happiness or self-indulgence in altruism as an addiction.
This completely aligned with my perspective that self-preservation/longevity in physical and mental capacities is useful so far as it allows us to continue being altruistic for a longer period of time. Moreover, wise selfishness was a slap in the face for my belief that ‘authentic’ altruism must be rooted from ego dissolution. Contrarily, one is delicately maintaining the balance of being altruistic to feel good about one’s self without bringing in the infamous ‘I’ associated with self-grandeur and ego inflation; i.e. ” I am such a good person”, “I am so generous” etc. Thus, from what I perceive, full ego dissolution is not necessary to be wisely selfish but must still be disassociated from altruistic acts.
I do feel that in so much as what they encompass, two words have never resonated more with me than wise selfishness. Perhaps this is simply because it accounts for the human factor (the presence of the ego) and does not necessitate one to be a monk or a saint to achieve perpetual happiness. The seeds sown in altruism are forever permanent causing far larger ripple effects. The concept of do good onto others so that you will feel happy is so trivial and childish that it’s almost a wonder how this fundamental disintegrates post-childhood into greed. Nonetheless, I can say with certainty, my objectives shall forever lie in being wisely selfish.